How lockdown has changed my attitude towards my skin

I was so scared that lockdown was going to turn me even more against my skin. But it’s actually helped me appreciate it, in all its imperfect glory.

As someone who has suffered from acne since the age of 13, tried every cream and ointment under the sun, been on Accutane, the lot. My skin still has regular hormonal breakouts, dark acne scars, dry spells and oily moments.

I spent years trying to get rid of all the imperfections. I despised my skin and dreaded looking in the mirror. But as I grew older and somewhat wiser (my dad would jokingly disagree), I realised that the people around me don’t care what my skin is like. They like me for me.

But as a global pandemic and lockdown in the UK was approaching, my anxiety went sky high, thinking all those negative thoughts would come rushing back like a moth to a lamp.

Lockdown has given us unlimited time for self-analysis, physically and mentally. The old me would’ve taken this as the perfect opportunity to let the devil on my shoulder rule negative thoughts about my appearance around my head.

But surprisingly, lockdown has helped me banish those gloom-ridden thoughts and turn them into something like “hey, my skin isn’t actually all that bad.”

As I moved back home to live with my parents during the pandemic, I didn’t need to worry about what I looked like. I could walk round with a racoon on my head and they wouldn’t even batter an eyelid.

With nowhere to go, nothing to get ready or dress up for. I decided to take this time to give me skin a good break from makeup. As I’m writing this, I haven’t worn makeup (meaning, full face stuff like foundation, concealer, filled in my eyebrows etc.) for a good three months. Which I think is pretty impressive.

I wasn’t exactly one of those people that would do a full face every day, but if I was going somewhere then I would feel the need to cover my imperfections to make myself feel more confident and comfortable. But having this time in lockdown has allowed me to feel comfortable, and I mean, comfortable without a bit of foundation or concealer.

Wearing no makeup for this amount of time has made me feel free, not constantly worrying whether my foundation has rubbed off my face, exposing the batch of spots that have found a new home on my chin. Wearing no makeup also means it takes even less time to get ready in the morning (is anyone actually still getting ready in the mornings?).

Since taking this time out of the hustle and bustle of everyday life, throwing whatever onto my face, not cleaning my brushes properly or just using products that don’t work on my skin. Lockdown has highlighted that my skin care needs a revamp, so I have used this time to educate myself about my skin and what products really do work for me – The Ordinary products have been one of my favourite lockdown discoveries, especially the peeling solution (keep your eyes peeled for a review soon).

Before lockdown, I was a huge snapchat filter user. Partly because again, it made me feel more comfortable as it helped cover up my skin. But as soon as that filter comes off, I was left feeling disheartened and depressed over the fact that my skin didn’t look like that in real life. Overuse of these filters can easily alter your perception of what the ‘perfect skin’ should look like. But lockdown has taught me that snapchat filters are better off as my friend, not my best friend.

My skin will never be perfect, and I’ve accepted that. But lockdown has helped me to realise having perfect skin isn’t everything. Our imperfections define who we are. Mine highlight the journey my skin has been through to get to where it is now, and I’m pretty proud about it.